Why do Marriages Take Work?

Welcome to Azevedo Family Psychology’s Modern Commitment Series, hosted by Dr. Don Azevedo in Raleigh, NC!

In this episode, Dr. Azevedo discusses the following topic: Why do marriages take work to maintain and what does the work look like, exactly?

Points Covered in this Episode:

• Marriages are a living, breathing entity that are born when you make the commitment to spend the rest of your life together. Often, that is long before the actual marriage starts.
• Like any living thing, it needs air, water, food, rest, and exercise
• The Air of a marriage is Respect and Kindness. Like any living being, a marriage needs lots of air every single day.  Make it an intentional point to be respectful with your spouse daily.  Think about different things you can do each day to be kind and demonstrate that you choose your spouse over all the other people on the planet.
• The Water of a marriage is Honest Confiding. Share with your partner all the things you like about the relationship and the life you are building.  Also share gently the things that are not working for you and seek resolution.
• The Food of a marriage is the laughter and joy you will share. Make sure to get several meals and snacks every day!  Share laughter share enjoyment, look with gratitude at the life you are creating.
• The Rest of a marriage is time apart from one another doing things that are meaningful to each of you. When you return to one another, it provides interesting and engaging conversation when you confide your experiences.  Marriages need rest – time apart from one another.  They need times together, too.  That is the Exercise of a marriage.
• The Exercise of a marriage is the life you are building with one another. All of the things, all of the experiences, and all of the community you build around you strengthens your marriage and makes it healthy.  Build these things with intentionality and appreciation for the contribution each of you makes to that greater whole.
• In short, the answer to the question of Why Do Marriages Take Work is because living well takes work. Your body doesn’t feed itself and neither does your marriage.