Key Principles of Marital Therapy

Marital therapy is a thoroughly researched, evidence-based practice. It is grounded in the same pedigree and principles of other forms of counseling. If you and your spouse enter into marital therapy, your experience will be guided by a few key principles.

Communication

Communication can save any relationship, be it romantic, friendly or professional. In marriage, this can often take the shape of extremes: couples may not communicate at all, or they can communicate loudly, harshly, and often. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you sit on, marital therapy seeks to bring you towards the middle. You will learn to express your feelings without hesitation, but also without undue harshness.

Identify Dysfunctional Behavior

Safety is a baseline, and some behaviors can be a much more serious roadblock to successful therapy. If a partner is abusive, has a substance problem, or exhibits unusual anger issues, those will need to be addressed before therapy can continue. Partners may be referred to drug treatment centers or domestic violence shelters. This can be determined early on through the use of careful risk assessments.

Maintain and Encourage Neutrality

It’s a popular narrative that marriage counselors “choose sides” during sessions. Of course, reality dictates that your counselor remain as neutral as possible.

However, the counselor will also encourage you to remain neutral. A huge part of marital therapy is encouraging patients to be neutral in their own perspectives on the relationship. A therapist will help you see the processes and complexities behind your problems, rather than shifting blame to your spouse or yourself.  Your therapist will help you achieve this by observing your interactions and forming hypotheses based on them.

Celebrate Strengths

Dr. Azevedo believes that we should create a life worth celebrating. That life can start with what you already have! A therapist will not identify your strengths for you, but rather encourage you to find them. They will guide you and your partner to discover what works in your marriage, and how to learn from those successes and apply their methods to your problems. This also serves as a critical morale boost as you dive deep into your relationship.